Our lives don’t always go as planned — you don’t always get the promotion you wanted, the house you put an offer on was sold to someone else, turns out you really don’t enjoy teaching (or any given career) as much as you thought you did, turns out that best friends do come and go. There’s no doubt that life can be hard and that there is rarely a clear path you can follow that leads to happiness and success. Just like science experiments in middle school, life often requires making small adjustments, analyzing the results, making more small adjustments, and analyzing again until you get a result that makes sense.
The good news is that your life, however it turned out, is still a beautiful life and deserves all the effort you can muster to make it even better. But how? Where do you start? It begins with recognizing that you do want to take charge of your life, that you aren’t satisfied with how your life is going or where it’s headed. It begins with recognizing that you may need help, guidance, support, and motivation from someone like a life skills coach. At Be You. Live Big, our life coaches want to help teach you how to take charge of your life. After years of experience helping people just like you, we know and have seen the difference just a little bit of guidance can make.
6 Nuggets of Advice to Help You Take Charge of Your Life
Make Time For “Me Time”
Sure, locking the bathroom door so you can take an extra three minutes to breathe while your kids fight over who got the biggest scoop of dessert might give you some peace. But that’s not the kind of “me time” that we want you to experience. It also doesn’t have to mean splurging on a spa day, either. Life skills coaches understand that budgets are sometimes the most stressful part of life.
So what does “me time” mean? It’s allowing yourself to take some space from your hectic schedule, giving yourself some time to refocus, to step back, and to let your mind think about what you want. If it’s an hour a week when you drive around town, if it’s half-an-hour two times a week working on an art project, or if it’s a Friday night out with some girlfriends — take the time. Don’t feel selfish or guilty because this is the time where you can truly be yourself and prioritize what is important for your life.
Just because you’re not in high school going to band practice every week, doesn’t mean that you don’t need to practice certain skills anymore. Taking charge of your life often starts by making a shift in your mindset and that takes practice! We don’t always realize how negative or cynical we are and we rarely notice how negativity or cynicism can affect our outlook on life. But changing our mindsets is hard and it takes a constant reminder to gain awareness of our thought process.
“Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
As cliche as the phrase is now, this saying by Lao Tzu is a clue into how impactful thoughts can truly be. With consistent communication with a life skills coach, they can point out ways for you to retrain your mind to think about your life, your goals, and your future in a more positive way.
Learn to Listen to Your Intuition
Have you ever left for work thinking that you must be forgetting something? But you still get in the car, put on your seatbelt, tune in to your favorite station, and that feeling is quickly forgotten? Then you get to work and realize that you left your cell phone on the counter. That is your intuition talking to you! This is a silly example of how intuition works, but this “gut feeling” can be an incredibly powerful tool in guiding your decision making. But it takes practice and being tuned in in order to recognize when your intuition is telling you something. When a new opportunity arises at work, when an acquaintance asks if you want to have lunch, when you feel like it may be time to let go of an old friend, listen to your intuition, it often knows more about you and your needs than you realize.
Ask Yourself Questions — And Answer Honestly
Have you heard of the penny trick for when you don’t know what to do or can’t make a decision? When you’re having a hard time making an important decision, toss a penny up in the air and tell yourself that you have to make a decision while the penny is in the air. During that second or two, when the pressure is on to decide, you quickly realize what you truly want.
Giving people questions to ask themselves is a common way for life skills coaches to guide them through certain challenges. It can be difficult knowing the right questions to ask that will have the biggest impact, and Be You. Live Big has collected some very powerful questions. Rather than asking yourself “am I happy?” Ask yourself “what makes me happy?” If you’re trying to find a life coach, chances are you already know you’re not as happy as you could be. So be intentional with how you go about looking for ways to take charge of your life.
- Is there a disconnect between who I am and how I’m living my life?
- Why do I feel trapped in my job? What will I do about it?
- Is anxiety and fear of change taking control of my life? What will I do about it?
- Do I really want to take action to make a change? What will I do?
Your life, your clothes, your house, your taste in music, your makeup, your career, your goals, your past experiences — comparing is one of the most dangerous things anyone can do. No one life is more important, more valuable, or more meaningful than any other life. Everyone is unique and everyone has different strengths and weaknesses. The moment you can stop comparing yourself with others is the moment you realize you just took charge of your life. All of a sudden there is a feeling of freedom to let of the past, to choose a new path, and to live in a way that represents your true self — not someone else’s self.
Learn That Experiences are Neither “Good” nor “Bad”
We learn from experiences, both good and not-so-good. If a meeting didn’t go well at work, learn from it. If a date didn’t go well, learn from it. If you had an argument with your significant other, learn from it! There’s no reason that a “bad” experience should interfere with your goals. In fact, when something doesn’t go how you wanted it to, it’s the perfect opportunity to put the “try, analyze, and try again” method to use. When things are always going well, you never have the opportunity to be challenged and never have the chance to try and learn from doing something different.
The ever-insightful Bob Marley said, “You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.” Taking charge of your life is hard, but it’s incredible how much people learn about themselves when they are pushed and take the time to self assess what is important to them.
The life skills coaches at Be You. Live Big have all gone through significant changes in their lives and know how challenging it can be. But this experience has given us valuable insight into how to make it easier and more impactful for your future. When you realize just how strong and brave you are, there are endless possibilities. It just takes a little guidance.
Get started with Be You. Live Big today and sign up for a course with one of our life skills coaches.